notflxress

La Liga

Barcelona7 - 2Racing Santander

midgelover@midgelover

☆☆☆☆☆★★★★★4w ago

I was out of town, doing a bit of visiting. I heard my wise father figure Hansi Flick had finally taken the time to settle down in the countryside. Rightfully so, after what he’d been through, with all the pent-up stress and frustration built up over the years of coaching the most successful Spanish club ever. “How have things been buddy?” I asked, as I saw my man step out of the house upon hearing my car come in the drive-through. “All good, life’s been a lot more chill, now that I’ve retired,” he answered. “Hey, wanna check out my animals out back? I’ve taken up farming as a hobby with my free time,” as he motioned over to the back gate. We headed out and he started introducing me to some of the livestock, mentioning how he had named them after his players, as the unhinged animals they were. Just then, I was hit by an unbearable stench. With my eyes watering uncontrollably, I questioned through gritted teeth, “What in the hell is that smell?” He looked over knowingly and said: "Ah. Raphinha? The goat is never washed.”

Premier League

Tottenham0 - 0Everton

raoul@raoul

☆☆☆☆☆★★★★★12 Sept 2026

Aston Villa vs Tottenham Hotspur. Saturday 19th September, 12:30pm. We’re about to see the worst game you’ve ever seen

La Liga

Barcelona5 - 2Rayo Vallecano

geo@geo

☆☆☆☆☆★★★★★31 Aug 2026

Following two dominant exhibitions against opposition from the Basque Country and the Valencian Community, Barça now turn their attention towards a club hailing from the Spanish capital. However, they are not the men draped in decorated and lavish white from the central district of Chamartín, nor the jinxed ones clad in brutish red-and-white stripes from San Blas-Canillejas in the northeast. They come instead from Vallecas, a fiercely working-class neighbourhood whose pride, defiance, and deeply admirable sense of identity and community have long been embodied by the club affectionately known as Rayo Vallecano. Admittedly, the history shared between these two sides may not possess the grandeur, longevity, or romance that accompanied Barça's previous two encounters with the Madrid sides. Yet what this rivalry lacks in historical splendour, it compensates for with a sheer pathological refusal to submit to the considerable odds stacked against them. Time and time again, Rayo have demonstrated an uncanny ability to disturb Barça's rhythm, frustrate their momentum, and transform what should appear a straightforward assignment on paper into something altogether more treacherous. And now, Los Franjirrojos, following two disappointing results, seek to become yet another splinter beneath Barça's skin, where the timing can scarcely be more unwelcome. For the evening, already darkened by the dreaded news of Leo's retirement from VARgentina, now threatens to become more miserable should Vallecas' perennial agitators succeed in reopening an all-too-familiar wound.