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Well, you could see this one coming a fucking mile off. Forest - apparently a bag of rags having been turned over twice in a week by Leeds - turn up to Anfield and fight like wounded dogs. And Liverpool let them. Soft as fuck for the second week in a row. Some things looked better - Wirtz more involved in the game, Isak finally getting a goal - but mostly it was the same as last week. Another broken team, another soft goal from an overly exposed defence. Although it’s worth taking time out to point out the refereeing. It was fucking atrocious. Four of their players offside from a long ball that directly led to their goal. A marginal penalty not given to us and then a soft one given to them. And for the second week in a row, a player not given a second yellow that they deserved. Just fucking atrocious. And yet, for all that, a draw is a fair reflection of the game. Forest wanted it more than we did. It just would have been nice to get a bit of luck for once. Other notes: Jacquet looked amazing again, Gakpo off the right didn’t work, and both fullbacks were awful. This is going to be a painful transition.




Well that was a fucking disaster. Preseason wasn’t the most encouraging, and there wasn’t much to build on today. Naive in defence, anaemic in attack, and soft as fuck all over. Apparently Newcastle were in disarray and were there for the taking. Nobody told Liverpool, who let the occasion get to them and let Newcastle run the game. He should have been sent off, but Wissa absolutely terrorised our defence. I’m worried about van Dijk, he looked miles off it today. Luckily Jacquet looks like a Rolls Royce, and worth every penny of the £55M he cost. Apart from him, the only player to emerge from this fiasco with any credit is Cody Gakpo who scored a lovely goal and seemed like the only one who gave a shit. Although Dom’s penalty to equalise was a feat of terror and beauty all in one. Two goalkeepers couldn’t have saved it. So what to make of Iraiola’s first real game? We look shockingly easy to play against. Midfield and attack look short of ideas and miles away from the defence. Making every game a basketball game is not a sustainable strategy. We need to be better in attack and smarter in defence. Last season was fucking horrendous; I truly believe Iraiola will turn out to be a better coach, but from the look of it, it’s going to take a long time to get there.




I get that it’s lazy and reductive to say that this game against Scandinavian opposition was practically identical to the last game against Scandinavian opposition. And yet…? It was spookily similar. Loads of possession first half but with very little threat, Sweden looked dangerous when they could make chances, and yet ultimately France win comfortably without having to work too hard. It’s mad. I’ve spent the last 10 years enduring Deschamps’ unique brand of misery football, as befits one of the game’s great water carriers. He always had the ability to make his teams less than the sum of their parts, to squander the unbelievable riches granted him by Clairefontaine. I wanted him gone in 2018, but him winning the damn World Cup scuppered that. But now that’s he’s said he’s going? Now he cuts loose and lets his players play. Now he picks 4 strikers, starts scoring for fun and maintaining complete control at the back. Infuriating. But what a sight it is to see this team in full flow. The one touch passing, the flicks, tricks and wonder goals. It’s been a tough ride at times Didi, but it’s finally fun.
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Liverpool1 - 1Brentford



The End. End of the season, thank God. But also the end of an era. Robbo and Mo weren’t the first to leave and won’t be the last, but this feels like the break - the next Liverpool team will be something new, not an evolution of the force of nature we’ve grown used to since 2015. This expensively, exquisitely assembled squad has been stripped of any identity or belief, reduced to playing for moments and not getting enough of them to go our way. No one’s having fun anymore, including the manager. The only plan seems to be to run less, which is good because not one of the players can be arsed to do it anymore. Slot’s going to be sacked. It’s inevitable on this evidence. The only questions are how long it takes and how much more damage he does to this club before he does. Mo and Robbo were standard bearers for this club’s identity. Heart, desire, talent. They had it all. They leave a club that doesn’t look like it has any of it anymore. The beginning? It is now - but of what?

Liverpool
Everton1 - 2Liverpool



No brains, no bollocks. No idea how to control a game of football, just 11 strangers running around the place hoping for something to happen. I realised what it was I hate about watching the reds right now and it’s this: there’s no plan, nothing to get invested in. It’s just 90+ minutes in the laps of the gods. Some you win, some you lose. None you care about because there’s nothing there to care about either way. I didn’t even celebrate the winner. Proper Rudyard Kiplinged it, indifferent to the impostors of success or failures. But it is objectively funny that Salah scores seconds after they have one ruled out for offside, and then van Dijk is the one to break their hearts at the end. Have that Pickford, you horrible little bastard. For all your cheating, gamesmanship and occasional assaults, you still can’t - will never - win. We continue in purgatory. We still don’t look like we have a clue. But at least we beat THEM.

Liverpool
Liverpool1 - 1Chelsea



Why can’t I give this game zero stars? It’s literally impossible for both teams to lose a game but that’s what these deserved. It started so well, Rio made the space and Grav whacked it top corner And then it all fell apart. They got lazy and passive. Tried to sit deep in a shape but didn’t know how to be in a shape. When we had the ball, we couldn’t find someone to pass to. It was fucking abject. The loudest Anfield got was booing Slot for taking off the one player who was trying. This season has been awful but today felt like something changed. We’re sick of it. Sick of the utter lack of anything to get behind. Slot did the impossible last year and won the league at the first time of asking. What’s he’s done this year is even more impossible. He made going the game shit. Town flat, Anfield flat. I groaned when they said 7 minutes added on. Two games to go. Two more games of this zero star shite.

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